Nursing school...Midwifery...Another baby...Thing X for the Hubbs...I want more. I have been thinking a lot about the future and realizing that life is never going to get less complicated. The time is now.
Flash forward six weeks...I have a seven month old, a full time job an a letter welcoming me to nursing school. I am doing this. The Hubs and I are working out schedules to get me study times and I am on fire. I am so excited. I have been destined to become a midwife my whole life. My first birth, at ten years old, awoke a calling in me. At times I have doubted what I was hearing. For a long time I thought my Mom's calling was what I was hearing drowning out my own. I tried the Maritime Academy, pre-med, paramedicine, now back to nursing. As I think it through I realize how specific my calling is. I could not be happy as a floor nurse or an emergency nurse. I am here to help moms and babies and families. Midwifery is like breathing. It is something I have tested my ability to avoid but have found elemental to life instead of optional. I am ok with that. I look forward to treading in the steps of my mother, the women who held my face as I labored with Ramona, the women who sit quietly in dark huts in the jungle and those who ride through the city streets in the middle of the night to "attend" to families. I cannot wait to be of service to women and families. I cannot wait to bear witness to the beauty and the heartbreak, the humbling power of families growing. Birth....it is not just a new baby but a new MOTHER and a new family. Birth leaves an imprint on everyone in the room, every time. I want a thousand imprints.... I want to be a fully awake and realized person. I want to show my daughter what following a twisted path to a dream looks like. I want to have more money for my work and more time for my family. I want to be able to offer G time and financial support to go after his dreams too. I want more, more for us all. So, for now I will work hard, study hard and love with all my might. It seems like the best way to start.
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