There is SO much exciting stuff going on. I don't even know where to start. The class that I am working on with my dear friend B is starting to come together and starting to feel like a real project and not just the hormone sodden ramblings of a brand new mom who would rather fix someone else's life than look at her own baby blues. We have input from lots of fantastic families and are starting to expand our circle of input to include same sex and LGBTQ families. I am really excited about this 1. We live in Portland.... 2. Women's health education is important. We are doing such a shitty job of teaching our kids sex ed these days people are barely equipped with the real info on how that baby got into her belly in the first place. It is time to start offering education that addresses EVERYONE and that for us, includes all the shapes and incarnations of "family". So hooray for awesome families eager to share and help us help more awesome families.
Ramona and I are traveling to see my mom in Michigan next week. It will be her first real big trip and my first time flying with a baby. I am excited and anxious. It is a long flight but we can do it! We will get to see all of the women I refer to as "the aunties". They were aunties to me as a kid and a few of them treated me like the little girl they never had. I am excited to show off my tiny peanut.
My short term disability claim extension was approved after 6 weeks of no money coming in and 45thousand phone calls to sort out what BS they needed and what they already had. It was a gut rotting cluster but they approved it and I got a lot more time than I had ever anticipated and it is awesome. I can't think of anything better to do than be with Ramona. She will be nearly 5 months old by the time I go back to work. I feel so much better leaving a 5 month old than I did thinking about leaving a 2 month old.
I am making mom friends. This deserves a whole post of its own but I need to add it to the exciting things list. I really failed at forming a mom network. I stayed away from all of the mom groups and shunned the idea of meeting these women before the baby arrived. I thought I was too good for child birth ed classes and boy oh mother lovin' boy, was I foolishly FOOLISHLY wrong. It isn't about the class....its about the community you form. I have been spending time with my neighbor and she birthed at home but was part of a centering group at the birth center in town. She has this whole network of moms who saw each other every month through pregnancy. They still meet up now too. She took me to a Thursday morning mom's meet up at the birth center education space. It was soooo nice to just sit around in a room with a dozen other moms and babies all within a few months of one another. We all talked about whatever. Work, family, travel. Turns out we all see the same pediatrician. It was so nice to be in that group. Babies nursed and fussed and slept and pooped and we just went about it like it was no thing. It felt like coming home. We were all in the same place. We honored each other just by being present in that space together and it felt so good. I am actively trying to make more mom friends now including the awesome family next door who have a one year old. We have now gone to see Mr Ben, the children's musician who plays near by every Tuesday twice. It is so nice to talk as we walk over there and then sit in a room full of parents and kids from birth to 5 just all doing their thing to the sound of Mr Ben. Networking with other parents is key. I feel more confidant, less depressed, energized and not alone! It is a very good thing.
G and Ramona are bonding. I cannot begin to express how happy it makes me to hear him chatting away to her on the changing table or to see the two of them out in the garden. He is such a great Dad. Ramona really lucked out. As she blooms more and more into the outside world he falls deeper and deeper in love. It is enough to make me cry.
In short, life is good. Life is exciting and overwhelming and more beautiful than ever before. I think I had a bit of the baby blues there for a while. I was struggling to feel connected and honestly, the majority of my closest pre-baby friends seem to have abandoned ship for a while. I understand. I wasn't myself and I had some shit to sort out once my home birth I had been planning since I was ten became a hospital birth with an epidural and pitocin and a baby in the NICU...It was shitty and it conflicted with my personal view of myself. I had some figuring out to do. I also had some letting it the fuck go to do. I have my good days and bad days on that still. Anyway, getting paid, making friends, sunshine and my flippin' awesome kid all add up to BEST LIFE EVER.
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