Mother's Day

Tomorrow is Mother's Day.  This is my first year as a mother.  I know the weather is supposed to be HOT and beautiful and we are having friends over tomorrow night for a medical skills refresher prior to some festival volunteering in a month.  I don't know if G has anything special planned.  I would be a HUGE liar if I said I didn't hope for at least a card but I really don't need anything special.  I want time with G and R.  I want some time together as a family. 

Today, R slept in (after a nursing strike last night and LOTS of crying I am not surprised she needed a little extra sleep) this morning.  I woke up to nurse her before going to Zumba and when we were done I snuggled her in next to G.  I hoped she would let me get out the door before waking up and demanding his full attention as I knew he didn't get a lot of sleep and his pitiful sleepy face is too much for me to resist and I would have stayed home.  She cuddled back up with him and napped a bit longer.  I came home to the two of them happily wandering about the front yard gardens smiling and drooling.  I got cleaned up and took R to meet up with some girlfriends at the St John's street fair.  R passed out in the Ergo and slept for the next 3 hours.  Growth spurt anyone?  We hit the store after the fair and got things for dinner and lunch quinoa quiches for next week.  We spent some quality sofa time with G before he had to leave for work and then Amy came over. 

Amy is G's sister and my personal life raft.  During the first two weeks of R's life I didn't want anyone around.  I was still recovering from my plan B birth and the hormones made me think that I didn't want anyone other than mom and G to hold R.  I have written about that time...it was not pretty.  Anyway, I didn't want anyone else around.  I knew Amy and I had talked about her being our house helper after the baby arrived but I was regretting that and wishing for plywood to board up the door against ANYONE coming over.  My Mom had my number though and invited Amy over almost every night for chores and dinner.  She would do some house stuff like laundry, vacuum, change our sheets and then she would stay for dinner, hold R for a little bit while I tried not to cry at the dinner table and then she headed home.  Lather, rinse, repeat nearly every day for the first 2 weeks.  It only recently dawned on me that my mom knew exactly how I felt then and did it anyway because she knew how it would manifest later.  Last week in the midst of sleep regression hell and G's work week I was having a particularly down day.  I felt honest to goodness depressed and was so sad and scared about everything big and small.   When G left for work I noted how crappy I felt and how I had tried to nap about 10 times that day with no success.  I noticed my feelings and told myself that if I still felt this way in 3 days I was going to call the midwives because this was not 'me'.  When Amy came over after work I asked if she had time to stay so I could go to an exercise class.  I wasn't even sure I wanted to go but as she picked up R and they started singing and cooing and dancing around happily I started to feel better.  I felt like I could go and know unequivocally, that she would be in loving hands and even if she screamed the entire 90min I was away, she was screaming in the arms of someone who loved her and someone who had been around her from the very day she was born.  Amy was my savior.  Class was fun.  I came home full of endorphins, dripping sweat and happy to see my baby girl.  Those 90 min were all I needed to refresh my perspective and get back in the game.  I was eternally grateful for Amy that night and continue to be every day as I watch her bond with R grow.  This is what family is all about.  I have my mother to thank for that.