Back to Basics... Step 1 tie your shoes...

I have been a "runner" for 10 years on and off. I watched my big brother run a full marathon the fall I was 16 and started training for my own the very next day. I trained all winter and completed my own 26.2 mile journey the following spring at 17. I finished last. Very very very last. I was chubby, stubborn and optimistic. I am still proud of myself. I finished in 5:30:something...

I have been back to running on and off for the last 2 years. It waxes and wanes depending upon the weight of the other plates spinning. I was registered to run the PDX marathon two weeks ago but with internship(4 days a week of 7p-7a), buying a house, moving, taking my national board exams and planning my wedding all within a month....my running sort of fell apart in August. My sister-in-law kept on running and completed her first full 26.2 miles with grace and good humor. I had the honor of running the last half with her and on that stretch somewhere between the St John's Bridge and the western banks of the river downtown I reclaimed my motivation. I sort of realized how close I had come. It was motivating, energizing and a little sad to see how close I was to making it.

It has been about 2 weeks since the race and I am running again. I am running consistently and with great enthusiasm. I am competing in a 13.1mile race in December and will soon register for a full Marathon in Eugene for May 2011. I am back to basics. I have new goals and new inspiration, even a cute new running skirt but I am back to square one.

The hardest part is that I am at my highest body weight ever. I have maxed out way past my comfort zone and I think it is taking a toll on my mind and my joints. I KNOW it is taking a toll on my pace. I have never been small. I am a very strong, stocky, "built like a small refrigerator", corn-fed, cheese loving, Midwestern farm girl. I have never been very good at calorie counting or restriction. Obviously. I always feel like I am punishing myself. Food is love and fun and family and comfort and celebration to me. I hate the idea of having to restrict but I think it is time. Beyond that I think my body is telling me it is time. My joints ache after my runs and I don't think I should feel this sore. I'm pretty sure its because of the weight I am lugging around. It is time for my relationship with food to change. Damn! It feels a little like getting ready to break up with someone. God! I sound like one of those women on one of those scary reality shows. Ick! Anyway, I have done WW before and I think the point system will work for me. It will allow me to have my beer on a high activity day and to keep track of what I have "earned" and what I have not yet earned...I think it is part of the next step in my running development. I will not get faster until I get lighter. For now, my aching joints are my reminder that I weigh too much for what I am asking my body to do on runs. It is frustrating and depressing and inspiring all at the same time....Well, the Man has returned from the salt mines cranky, hungry and cold....I must cut this blog post short for now to tend to him (Because I love him not because I am obligated). More on this later....
-Anna