I can't eat for four more hours so I might as well talk to you

Welcome to week 24! In a scant 13 weeks this little fish will have the go ahead to arrive and we will be allowed to stay home. Don't get me wrong though, I am hoping to keep this little one snug in my guts for the full 40. All the research says it is best for heart and lungs and all of that and while I know many a baby (myself included) who did JUST fine hatching a few weeks early, I am rooting for the best possible scenario which in my mind is full term, uncomplicated home birth, in front of the fire, in the tub, with my mom safely on the west coast drinking tea with my midwives as G holds my hand. Doesn't seem like that much to ask does it? : )

So, last week I was relishing my new found super power of shrugging the once insurmountably stressful shit off. This week I didn't do as well. This week day 1 was fine. Day 2 I got all dehydrated and started getting the spins at work (not ideal while driving an ambulance at 50mph down morning traffic with lights and sirens). I popped myself on the monitor and I was having a very fast heart beat with lots of wonky beats and my blood pressure was sorta high for me. The wonky heart beats are not news. I have been having them all through my pregnancy and thank sweet baby Jesus that my primary care doc did that stress test on me back in the first trimester because as much as I have them now I would worry, but since we worked it up and found nothing bad AT ALL (just a heart that is sensy to hormones) I don't need to worry about my heart. I felt awful. Like I couldn't calm down or close my eyes. I wasn't feeling anxious about anything just all sped up. I ended up going home from work about halfway through my shift. I drank a bunch of water and felt a bit better but still had a "hang over" feeling. I slept about 10 hours and drank some recharge (hippie Gatorade) and started to feel human again by the next morning. Dehydration sucks and now that this kiddo is using more and more blood volume I need to stay more hydrated than ever. Not easy when you have to drive to a bathroom and if you get a call you may be plain old outta luck until you get to the hospital. I try to use the "CPR potty scale" to determine how badly we need to find a bathroom. I ask myself, "could you comfortably do chest compressions on someone right now? How about in 10min? If the answer is no....seek bathroom ASAP". Insane huh? Yup. The things I do for a paycheck.

Day 3 this week was just bullshit. I hate to burst any one's bubble about the magic of EMS but very often I work an entire day without taking care of a single person who needed to be seen by a medical professional, let alone taken to the ED by ambulance. Many days are full of lazy, drug seeking, slobs who need to get off their oxycodone addicted asses and get a damn job. I hate to sound 100% insensitive but this country is in crisis and we need to stop creating more everyday junkies who get in a fender bender and 10 years later, at the ripe old age of 32 are living off of disability and narcotics and getting "free" rides to the hospital on my hard work to pay into the health care system that they abuse. I am just sick to death of it. So, yeah, I have the rage about this, this week....it made day 3, where I transported nothing but bullshit all day, very long and I didn't do a very skillful job of rising above and thus, went to bed with a belly ache.

Day 4 was spent taking off my shoes in order to allow my enormous feet to swell unhindered by my normally loose fitting work boots. Honest to god, my feet went numb about 5 times. Let the count down begin....SIX more rotations until I go out on my glorious, glorious short term disability for maternity leave. I get upto 180 calendar days paid at 60% off to grow, birth and adjust to this baby. I thought I would want to be all hardcore and work until I dropped but I am now really looking forward to having ten or so weeks to nest and relax and swim and get ready for this little person. Pregnancy is hard work physically. Even as good as I am feeling now in my head, my body is going "Whoah, whoah, this is a LOT. Can't we have some more cottage cheese and talk about this?".

Speaking of food I am sitting here waiting for my glucose tolerance test starving! I can promise them that I am not a diabetic. I am fucking starving. We are going to Pine State Biscuits after this thing and I am going to eat and entire one ALL BY MYSELF! The baby has been hosting a dance party all night and I fell asleep at 8pm. I set an alarm for 11pm to be sure I ate something so I wouldn't be so hungry but man oh man I am HUNGRY! I am only a tiny bit nervous that I may pop positive for gestational diabetes. I just don't want the hastle and the risk....Ok, getting too hungry to be witty or coherent any longer...will post more later....save yourselves....eat something....anything....