News from the land where spirits soar and feet swell

Welcome to week 21. Things are going really well. The baby is the size of a rib eye steak (how exciting) and I am feeling more energy all the time. The flip side of that coin is that I am feeling my physical limitations change on if not a daily, then certainly a weekly basis. I think the baby is living pretty low in my pelvis making things like bending over to tie my shoes prematurely uncomfortable. I often feel like I want to put my hand down just above my pubic bone just to sort of "keep things in". It is an odd feeling since I still look only barely pregnant with the exception of my every expanding ass.

Work has been interesting. I actually saved a life last week. An elderly person was choking on breakfast and nobody wanted to "hurt" them by doing the Heimlich so there they sat dying in their chair. By the time we arrived they were cool and blue and had only a very slight pulse. I pulled them to the floor and my partner took a look in the mouth to see if there was something to grab which there was not. I used the mask and gave a few positive pressure ventilations to see if I could move any air into the lungs at all. After a few PPVs the obstruction moved enough to trigger a gag reflex and a cough/vomit of part of the obstruction. The pt was not out of the woods but we were making our way away from the light. I continued supportive care and attempts to further clear the airway en route to the hospital where the pt had several more episodes of vomit/coughing and cleared most of the obstruction without major intervention (ie elective intubation which would have posed serious risks in a person of such age and physical health). This may not sound like much but let me assure you that this person was dying right there in front of my eyes as I walked into that room. 5 more minutes and it would have been a very different outcome. What is the take away lesson? No, not that I am a bad ass who saved a life. The lesson is DON'T JUST STAND THERE DO SOMETHING FOR F*CK'S SAKE!!! People were afraid to give this person abdominal thrusts fearing they would hurt them. They almost KILLED them with inaction. A few broken ribs or a bruised gut would have been much easier to fix than dead. Everyone knows how to do even a bastardized version of the Heimlich. Don't think you should wait for the professionals. We were less than 3 miles away and it took us mere minutes to arrive on scene and it was very nearly too late. DO SOMETHING. You will never be wrong.

So, there it is. That was my first real "save" of my young career. It felt really good. My partner and I both walked in there and said "holy shit this is not going to end well" and lo and behold it did. It was a tiny little reminder of why I do this job at all. It may have taken me 10 months but I made a difference just by being there. That feels good.

In other work related news I have begun contracting occasionally and it sort of sucks. I am looking forward to my apt with the Ladies the day after tomorrow because it sort of worries me but I am trying to keep calm about it. I never have any spotting or rhythm to it. It happens mostly when I have to carry heavy things and walk up stairs and mostly at the end of the day when I am likely dehydrated and tired. I am actually hoping they do a vaginal exam and tell me I am not having any cervical changes. That is enough about that.

I feel the baby move around a LOT. They are very very busy much of the time. It is nice. Reassuring. With everything else going on sometimes I just escape by sitting quietly and feeling the baby move inside of me. Rearranging furniture, oblivious to the goings on in the world. It is a very nice head space sometimes. Meditative almost. That said, I can't wait for the baby to get big enough to be felt moving and shaking on the outside. I want G to feel it and join in the wonder of the little person we made. (God, that sounds suuuuper cheesy but made me tear up.) We made a PERSON! That person is growing INSIDE me. I just think it is going to blow his mind to feel his baby kick or wriggle for the first time.

So, I bought a maternity swimsuit and it arrived today. I am beyond excited to take it for a swim tomorrow. I can hardly wait. I have been feeling so lazy and sedentary. It is time to pick up the pace a bit on my fitness. This body isn't going to get itself ready for labor and recovery. So, there you have it. Life is flying by at break neck pace and I am happy. I am scared and overwhelmed and unsure from day to day how we are going to pull it all off but damned if I'm not thrilled to be doing this and over the moon to be doing it with G. More after the visit with the Ladies on Friday.

-Anna