Broken Hearts

I am listening to Florence and the Machine "Shake it up" and sobbing. I am not going to go deep into it but things at work are very uncertain. We are negotiating a new contract and it is going to some very frightening places with regards to insurance and pay. There is so much anger and resentment that we may strike. I am almost 5 months pregnant and my job is not something I can just do without. I am so scared. I am so sad. I am so sorry that I didn't finish nursing school. I am awash in a world of regret and sadness right now. I know that I am who I am because of the things I have done and not done. I would never have met G and I would not have the beautiful life I have now if I had chosen something else. Also, I LOVE being a paramedic. I never knew how much I loved it until just tonight when I started crying thinking about having to do something else so soon. I feel like I just got to the party and I missed the "good part" where everyone was having fun and laughing and now it is the part where everyone has had too much to drink and things are falling apart. I am so scared that things will be shaken up and I will no longer have insurance that covers my birth or affordably covers all the medical things that a new baby requires. I never imagined we would be looking at the very real possibility of starting this little one's life in a giant pile of debt. This sucks....